I don't know what this is gonna be

I seriously don't. 

I know that I'v decided to be cool with this but hell... I woke up at freaking 5 am this morning for no reason feeling so damn nervous I'm gonna puke. My ride ain't coming till 8-ish. I have no idea what to do with 3 hours. So Imma type a quick blog post, read a book, brush up, dress, and go wait like a retard. 

I couldn't do anything last night, just lingered around with my phone stuck in my hands and went to sleep before 11pm. Well at least I think I've cured my headache! And I'm super hungry right now. I just feel really really weird!!!!!!! :( 

Mom wanted to be there when they give out the results but I told her that I'll be fine and I'll call her and stuff. Feeling super bad now heh... But I don't know how I'll feel if she was standing right next to me, looking into that slip of paper the same time as I. It won't make any difference to the final product, but hell I'll be so damn nervous I think I'll faint even before they call out my name.

This is like the first time in ages I'm actually worrying about something this badly. I mean, when SPM ended, all I cared about was fun. Then came college, and SPM is like... A previous chapter nobody gives two craps about, until now. I can't believe that today, 10am, marks the final page of my high school life. Like FINAL, no more. Nothing else left. 

I still remember what was first day of school like. Got the shock of my life, seeing everyone in pinafore, nobody in shirt and pants. And when we were asked to line up in 2 lines, I was like... 'how?'. Cuz I was so used to girls on one side, boys on the other. Then I got used to everything there, and it became home :) The best days were the last days, where we had no classes anymore, and we were allowed to go anywhere and do anything we want. We lied down on the field, sat under the trees, talking about the future and stuff. Cliche I know, but it was true. 

Funny, how you  realize you love someone so much only when you need to part. That's life I guess. We don't appreciate things if we're not on the brink of losing it. So later, I'm gonna hug everyone I see, and enjoy every laughter and remember their voices. The sad thing about living in a small town is that after graduation, people just leave, and across the country, some even out of the country and you really have no idea when you'll see them again. 

YES IT'S ALMOST 7AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hahahahah I'm really excited for my canteen food breakfast later. And we're gonna visit all the teachers that made our lives a living hell. And tell the juniors that SPM is super easy compared to what we're doing now to scare the sunshine out of them...

So cheers, and good luck!