But the problem with me is that I'm taking wayyyy to many chances.
I let myself fall, I let my heart lead the way, even when I know that what's in front is just a cruel dead-end. I'll do it anyway. I'm dumb like that, willing to believe that miracles can happen out of the blue.
They say that we should have faith, no matter what happens, cuz faith gives us hope. But what if you have so much faith that all you key into your mind is just plain expectations that will never turn into reality? It's called suicide.
It's like jumping off a cliff and hoping that a cushion will appear out of nowhere to catch you.
I really want to stop doing this to myself but every time I feel like giving up every sense of hope, my heart will be like 'it just needs more time, be patient and observe...' And I'll just mindlessly follow. And in the end I'll just hate myself for getting myself into such deep shit. And the cycle goes on...
I wish my mind has a switch, to turn off feelings and attachments. I wish I can do whatever and will never get attached to anything or anyone. I wish I could just walk away, no hard feelings. But it doesn't work that way.
And you can't really blame anyone but yourself, for being naive and stupid. I should really stop believing in fairy tales where happy endings happen to every story...
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