Sometimes goodbye is the only way

Now playing: Shadow of the Day - Linkin Park

12 hours to 2014. There's nothing much to start over this January. 

All of 2013 (the studying and working hard part) and half of 2014 is practically directed towards September of 2014. Again with me investing my present for the future that isn't even existing yet. Sometimes I really ask myself why. 

Went back to college to deal with university, to deal with the future, yesterday morning. And boy, the future seems difficult. Or maybe it's just me being too satisfied with the comfy status quo. The truth is, if it wasn't for my parents, mainly my mom, nagging and lecturing me everyday, I wouldn't have the energy or the guts to start looking into stuff like this. Although I barely have any choices to choose from. At least now I know my forecast allows me to just apply without further screening and short listing for universities.

It's my second New Year's Eve away from home. Of course a part of me wants to be lying on the couch with the rest of my family, seeping sparkling juice and watching the rest of the world celebrate the new year, and probably falling asleep after Sydney and Tokyo's fireworks go off, like always. It is supposedly my last NYE in the country for the next 4 years, maybe. Part of me wants to be in the city around my friends, and for once actually bidding goodbye to this year and celebrate the coming one. 

I don't really know what I feel about 2013 and 2014. I suppose 2013 was quite kind to me, and I'm thankful for all the lessons it brought me. All I am sure of is that I have hopes for 2014. It is basically the last bit of my teenage years. It doesn't have to be crazy and insane. I just need it to be memorable and happy and worth every second of my life. Okay those are not simple conditions, but yeah...

And of course, for A2 to be satisfying. I am practically begging for my A* AA (and another A hopefully) so my mom wouldn't have the heart to throw me to Singapore with her reason being it's not worth it since I didn't get into a top 10 school in UK. And no I do not want to spend 4 years in Singapore although the chances of me working and staying in other countries are higher than studying in UK. I don't even know if I'll be alive to be able to enjoy the days after my degree if I happen to study in Singapore. 

I can't believe I'm only open to so little choices, while the world is so huge and full of probabilities. And right now, I don't have one single confirmed choice. Okay let me break it down:

-UK: expensive, but has the best schools, can't stay and work, but it's considered quite safe

-Singapore: eww... But cheap because it's easy to get a scholarship for my course, and near to home, get to work overseas

-Canada: it's half a world away, cheaper, probability of landing a job and PR is like really high, it's freezing cold

-Japan: language -.-, I like japan

-Korea: refer to Japan

-Australia: I am prejudice against this country due to personal reasons, expensive as hell, not worth the money cuz most of the schools aren't even on the table

-NZ: nice place, but boring, far, and still not worth it

-America: SAT is a bitch and I'm a coward

-Germany (and the rest of the EU): language, and they don't want extra engineers anymore

See! My life is tough.........

Oh well. It's the last day of the year. It's support to be really joyous and full of hopes. 

Till next year! :)

Serenity #2

We are still at day 1.

After lunch and checking in, we, my lil sis and I, sort of toured the entire island. 

* inserts amused emoticon*

This is a part of our room. Well, it was sort of my parents' room, but our family occupied the entire block so we had access to this crap too.

I don't know who in their right mind will sit there, really. Maybe in the morning la idk... It's ridiculously hot in the afternoon and pitch black at night.

 

This was my parents' room, ours was a bit different, the layout I mean.

Theirs was more conservative because the sink and tub was separated from the mini bar slash kitchen and the wardrobe and ours was... all linked. Just a small divider after the bed.

Introducing, the coolest library ever.

 

 

I doubt anyone can actually do their reading on the beds. I'd just fall asleep lol.

Bed, cushion, pillow, sound of the waves and hornbills... Sleep.

 

 

The centre of the library.

 

 

This are the so-called 'more exclusive' sea villas. The rooms are smaller, the only difference is that they're on the sea and are more isolated from everything else.

And!!!

They don't allow visitors below the age of sixteen.

I was quite amazed.

The pathway that goes along the edge of the island.

These two decided that being in the room just for the air-con was too lame so they came and join us.

Like pop stars huh.

 

 

These are the spa villas. Most exclusive of all.

They had their special pool and special side of the beach with spa facilities. No children allowed. Not surprised. I felt underage just being in there.

Then we took a shuttle to the other side of the island to take a look at the beach.

The infamous Emerald's Beach.

It was like omggggggg....

I'm not gonna post more photos.

You're gonna see a few coming up in random posts throughout these few months.

Saving them for lengthy boring posts.

Mom and I were lying on a couch by the beach and toyed with the camera.

 

Mom's.

 

 

Mine.

Mine is better. RIGHHHTTT???

I know the lens was dirty heh...

 After lazing on the beach we went back to the busy side of the island, and I went to the gym as everyone else took their naps.

The gym was okay, a bit old and used but the view over-shadowed all its flaws.

Imagine running on the treadmill and watching seagulls fly around the beach.

Dinner on day 1 was at a chinese-nyonya restaurant called Uncle Lim's.

It was GREATTTT.

Best food on the island, to me.

But the place was too dim so I just decided to not take any pictures.

DAY 2!!!

Woke up, and walked to the reception area and saw this:

That island was just too romantic I swear.

And breakfast:

 

The best part was the overnight oats.

They had quite a few selections to choose from.

And they had fruit compote too.

 

Fresh fruits to be blended into juice.

Take your pick.

 

The pastry was rather disappointing.

They had quite a variety of breads but mehh...

 

Sorry for the blur picture but I just have to.

Fried mee.

It was so good.

They fried them plate by plate, you can choose your own add-ons.

 

Waffle addict.

Sorrynotsorry.

 

The view from the breakfast restaurant.

Our villa was something like the ones you see standing on the hill.

The worker told me they change the flowers every single morning. 

I was like 'PLR must have a lot of man power'...

 

Umm... a really nice public toilet.

After breakfast we joined a hiking group to do some jungle trekking.

Truth is, we already did the trek by ourselves the day before when we visited the beach...

 

FYI: I didnt really zoom in for this shot. I was really this close to the bird. Guess it was immune to human.

 

I don't know I just find this very... Eye catching.

 

This was the final part of the trek.

 

First thing you see after coming out of the trek, complaining and cursing the mosquitoes. Then you just halt and forget about it all cuz you were too mesmerised.

 Just LOOK AT THE SEA.

We had lunch here, but we sat under the roof.

 Mom's shrimp pomelo something appetizer.

Greek salad for me.

Best I've ever had.

 

Dad being dad, forever into overpriced local street food.

This thing was 50 bucks on the menu (our meals were already included).

 

My very  mouth watering sizzling lamb.

 Then we spent the entire afternoon by the beach.

Reading, sleeping, stoning, blogging, staring at girls in bikinis and topless guys...

  The beach was crawling with crabs...

Dinner was an Indian themed buffet.

Not bad at all.

Savory Indian cocktails.

Chicken rice lol.

 

Le very nice dessert bar.

<333

Dinner lasted till like... 10pm and I went straight to bed after that hahahaha...

Let it go

Six more days to the end of 2013. So I guess it's about time for me to do my annual recap post, a brief trip down memory lane to conclude the year.

2013 was and is all about changes and first-times, acceptance and moving on. It was tough and simple at the same time, both challenging and fun. Well, I tend to only recall the enjoyable moments when I look back, I guess that's good in a way. I wish I could say that this year was so full of joy that I can't remember the last time I cried, but I honestly can't. The tears and laughters are almost equal, tears being a metaphor for sadness and frustration and not literally tears cuz then my life would look like some tragedy, but I won't go into the dull and sad part because you deserve so much more than depressing life stories.

I think the first-times are what I adore most about this year. The excitement for doing something I've never done before, the satisfaction when I do it right. I suppose it's what that keeps everything interesting and fresh, it gives me things to look forward to. Then come the adventures and trial-and-errors, mistakes and lessons learnt. I personally don't think that mistakes or failures are such big deals to mourn about, but they're nonetheless scary and intimidating at times. But again, it's because of the downs that the happiness of success taste so sweet.

One of the best lessons of 2013- When you really care about someone, family or friends or something beyond that, you genuinely wish them the best. If you don't, then maybe you don't love them as much as you think you do. And hence perhaps you're not so worthy of their love in return after all.

From The Perks of Being a Wallflower- 'We accept the love we think we deserve.'

2013 taught me a great deal about appreciation. Being away from home, having another family that looks after me and vice versa, meeting so many new people and having to adapt to never ending changes, I've learnt that nothing, as in NOTHING, in the world ever stays permanent. Forever really doesn't exist, most of the times. I realized that I own nothing, because nothing will me forever mine. Therefore I've found the necessity to notice the good in things while it last. Carpe diem. 

Through out the year I've grown, though my parents still treat me like a child, and they probably always will. Despite being tougher, having to deal with so much more, there will always be a part of me that still skips around the garden, talking to animals, making wishes when I see a rainbow... Being able to be a child at times is a blessing, I think. It's a gift, a luxury, it's priceless.

I have high expectations of 2014, and I plan to be impressed.

So before the new year comes, I'd like to say Thank You, to everyone who had been around for the past 12 months, and those who hadn't. In short, just every single soul I know, or even those that I don't. What a year, it had been. Hugs and kisses to all of you wonderful people, and may the new year be full of joy and blessings.

                                  

Cinderella

I guess you think you know this story.

You don't. The real one's much more gory.
The phoney one, the one you know,
Was cooked up years and years ago,
And made to sound all soft and sappy
just to keep the children happy.
Mind you, they got the first bit right,
The bit where, in the dead of night,
The Ugly Sisters, jewels and all,
Departed for the Palace Ball,
While darling little Cinderella
Was locked up in a slimy cellar,
Where rats who wanted things to eat,
Began to nibble at her feet.

She bellowed 'Help!' and 'Let me out!
The Magic Fairy heard her shout.
Appearing in a blaze of light,
She said: 'My dear, are you all right?'
'All right?' cried Cindy .'Can't you see
'I feel as rotten as can be!'
She beat her fist against the wall,
And shouted, 'Get me to the Ball!
'There is a Disco at the Palace!
'The rest have gone and I am jealous!
'I want a dress! I want a coach!
'And earrings and a diamond brooch!
'And silver slippers, two of those!
'And lovely nylon panty hose!
'Done up like that I'll guarantee
'The handsome Prince will fall for me!'
The Fairy said, 'Hang on a tick.'
She gave her wand a mighty flick
And quickly, in no time at all,
Cindy was at the Palace Ball!

It made the Ugly Sisters wince
To see her dancing with the Prince.
She held him very tight and pressed
herself against his manly chest.
The Prince himself was turned to pulp,
All he could do was gasp and gulp.
Then midnight struck. She shouted,'Heck!
I've got to run to save my neck!'
The Prince cried, 'No! Alas! Alack!'
He grabbed her dress to hold her back.
As Cindy shouted, 'Let me go!'
The dress was ripped from head to toe.

She ran out in her underwear,
And lost one slipper on the stair.
The Prince was on it like a dart,
He pressed it to his pounding heart,
'The girl this slipper fits,' he cried,
'Tomorrow morn shall be my bride!
I'll visit every house in town
'Until I've tracked the maiden down!'
Then rather carelessly, I fear,
He placed it on a crate of beer.

At once, one of the Ugly Sisters,
(The one whose face was blotched with blisters)
Sneaked up and grabbed the dainty shoe,
And quickly flushed it down the loo.
Then in its place she calmly put
The slipper from her own left foot.
Ah ha, you see, the plot grows thicker,
And Cindy's luck starts looking sicker.

Next day, the Prince went charging down
To knock on all the doors in town.
In every house, the tension grew.
Who was the owner of the shoe?
The shoe was long and very wide.
(A normal foot got lost inside.)
Also it smelled a wee bit icky.
(The owner's feet were hot and sticky.)
Thousands of eager people came
To try it on, but all in vain.
Now came the Ugly Sisters' go.
One tried it on. The Prince screamed, 'No!'
But she screamed, 'Yes! It fits! Whoopee!
'So now you've got to marry me!'
The Prince went white from ear to ear.
He muttered, 'Let me out of here.'
'Oh no you don't! You made a vow!
'There's no way you can back out now!'
'Off with her head!'The Prince roared back.
They chopped it off with one big whack.
This pleased the Prince. He smiled and said,
'She's prettier without her head.'
Then up came Sister Number Two,
Who yelled, 'Now I will try the shoe!'
'Try this instead!' the Prince yelled back.
He swung his trusty sword and smack
Her head went crashing to the ground.
It bounced a bit and rolled around.
In the kitchen, peeling spuds,
Cinderella heard the thuds
Of bouncing heads upon the floor,
And poked her own head round the door.
'What's all the racket? 'Cindy cried.
'Mind your own bizz,' the Prince replied.
Poor Cindy's heart was torn to shreds.
My Prince! she thought. He chops off heads!
How could I marry anyone
Who does that sort of thing for fun?

The Prince cried, 'Who's this dirty slut?
'Off with her nut! Off with her nut!'
Just then, all in a blaze of light,
The Magic Fairy hove in sight,
Her Magic Wand went swoosh and swish!
'Cindy! 'she cried, 'come make a wish!
'Wish anything and have no doubt
'That I will make it come about!'
Cindy answered, 'Oh kind Fairy,
'This time I shall be more wary.
'No more Princes, no more money.
'I have had my taste of honey.
I'm wishing for a decent man.
'They're hard to find. D'you think you can?'
Within a minute, Cinderella
Was married to a lovely feller,
A simple jam maker by trade,
Who sold good home-made marmalade.
Their house was filled with smiles and laughter
And they were happy ever after. 

- Roald Dahl

I couldn't get over this. It screams reality check like to-da-max.

Serenity #1

Last weekend was spent, being a total tourist in shades and a huge ass camera in Pankor  Laut Resort.

It was heaven.

Like HEAVEN.

It's been ages since I last did a post like this.

 So Friday morning, we drove to the jetty, and boarded a... boat?

 

No not this yatch.

This:

 

It wasn't a long ride, I just hated the fact that they made us wear the life jackets.

 

Dem posers.

To be honest, I didn't expect much from the resort. It is Pankor after all, despite the high ratings everywhere, and people telling me how exclusive a one-island-one-resort concept it and stuff...

Well, things are overrated most of the time.

Until I saw this.

  

Okay bad picture.

Loaded the wrong picture.

There are villas on the hill and the sea was much bluer...

 

 

The very signature walkway from the dock.

It was really not that glamorous.

Imagine:

THIS weather, THIS sun, THIS humidity.

I practically ran into the resort.

 

 

 

 

This was the walkway leading to the reception.

Mom did all the boring check in stuff that I'll probably never learn to settle.

I mean, the resort was so inviting that I kinda sorta checked out the entire reception area when my parents did the paperwork.

Normally I'll be the first to find out what's there to play and see before anyone even started exploring.

Then some cute French guy brought us to the poolside restaurant for our pre-paid lunch.

*Warning food spam ahead*

 

 So everyone could pick an appetizer or soup or dessert and a main.

And I didn't take pictures of all the food because I was starving.

  

Dad's quesadilla.

The quesadilla was normal, Chilis-standard or slightly lower.

The good part was the guacamole-avocado dip. 

My fish taco.

And yeah this was my appetizer.

The best thing about this dish was the mango-corn salsa.

Lol I obviously like sides more.

 

 My sis' beef burger was GOOOOD.

Just a bit too much.

The sides were superb too, mung bean salad like omg.

And they stacked two patties on the burger. Two juicy, tender, perfectly done beef patties.

And the crunchiest onion rings I've ever had.

 MINEEEE.

Shrimp skewer with mango sauce.

Sides: ceasar salad, two pitas, and couscous.

The shrimps were so fresh and crunchy I can't even....

A bit too oily but it was really good.

Nachos for two.

Normal.

But the Malay sweet chilli sauce was quite smart.

 

Mom's portobello salad.

The best appetizer of all.

I don't know how to put this but the mushroom was so very juicy, the vege soaked with egg sauce, and egg whites suspended in them...

 Creme brulee for dessert.

It was WAYYYYY too sweet.

Just had a scoop and I couldn't do it anymore cuz I was stuffed.

 

The view from the restaurant.

I knowwwwwwwww.

So the French guy came around and brought us to our villas.

 

 

This was the first thing you'll see if you came out from my room.

The view was perfection, except that it was pitch black at night, and it was facing the wrong direction so i couldn't see sunrise or sunset. But in a positive way, the room was never too bright.

  

The sofa bed right opposite my bed.

I see no point in showing you the bed because it's just a big white bed.

Hotel beds.

It was okay, but as usual the comforters were too thick.

And then, you walk past a divider, and you see this:

 

 The tub was loveeeeee.

But it wasn't comfortable AT ALL.

The stone was like... hard...

SO...

That's it. Part 1.