away

If you told me that I'll miss choy-sum stir fried with garlic and steamed river fish topped with ginger and soy sauce two years ago, I'd laugh, and tell you that it will probably take a decade of food deprivation. And I would be proven wrong, because it took me less than a year to miss what I used to have every evening, without having to deprive myself from anything. 

KL offers a far wider variety of food, except for good, cheap Teh C, and yet, I find myself craving for the simplest dishes that have my siblings rolling their eyes and grunt in complaint. The day before I returned home, mom asked me if I wanted to eat home or out, I chose the former, never thought this would ever happen. We used to come out with all kinds of excuses and pleads to keep my mom from cooking so that we could have restaurant food.

Now, when my siblings complain about the repetitive menu, I'd chuckle, silently wanting to tell them to savour every sip of lotus soup and onion omelet while they can, because one day, tasting the food coming from that particular wok and that special pair of hands will become such rare indulgence. Of course I couldn't say it out loud. They wouldn't believe, because I know I didn't.

I want to tell them to tell their stories about what happened in school with enthusiasm when they hop into the car, having asked the everyday 'how was your day', and finish whatever lunch that has been already laid out perfectly on the dining table. 

I want to tell them to sit down on the floor after lunch and help to fold the laundry with the TV switched on and try to annoy dad who's taking his power nap on the couch. 

I want to tell them to heat up some pastry at 5pm and ask mom to take a break from dinner preparation, invite her for tea time, and follow dad to get KFC for supper, or make him instant noodles when he's hungry at 11pm. 

I want to tell them to spend their nights, occasionally, in mom and dad's room, dominating their bed until they shoo them away, and switch off the wifi on their way back to their rooms so mom wouldn't have to do it.

You'll miss home, although it may seem impossible right now. You'll miss the people, the routine, the familiarity. You'll miss the little things because you'll realise it was everything.

if only time could stop at this very moment

I always give up trying to study when I'm at home, because when I look up and see my siblings annoying the crap out of each other, or my parents casually arguing about total nonsense, I'll put my books or notes away and join in too.

Why be productive when you can immerse yourself in such rare, lovely procrastination?