Being past seventeen doesn't really mark any significance in one's personal life. Yes, you can buy tequila from a wine shop, win a lottery or marry anyone you like. You can also be thrown in jail for beating up somebody or robbing a shop. You're under less legal protection now. Juvenile laws can be no longer be applied on you. Basically you're responsible for every crime you commit now. In most places you can even vote or go to a casino but I'm just not interested in any of that. Despite all the legal changes, your parents will still treat you like the way they did yesterday, or last year. At least for me they do.
I'm still the baby, the kid who will cry when my parents raise their voices on me, who gets really scared when my dad lectures me for a mistake I made. I still wouldn't tell them I went out for a beer with my friends although I'm totally entitled to. They'll still call me when they realize I'm not behind them in the mall to make sure I'm not kidnapped like a 2 year-old. They would still hold my hand when we're crossing the road for I can never judge the speed of the on-coming cars.
Being eighteen is more of a reminder that I'm growing up, that I have only 2 full year left to my teenage years. I don't want to stop being a teenager, to stop having all the time in the world. We may not have the freedom to do anything, but we have all the rights to dream and to wish. Because when they say that the future is ours to live, they mean it literally.
The magical thing about birthdays, they make you feel really special, and for that one day in a year, even a thunderstorm is beautiful. I mean, look, the skies are cheering for you. But really, it's also a day for you to be grateful. Grateful for the life you're living, the people who care about you. Cuz when people wish you 'happy birthday', you smile and say 'thank you'.
It is also a wake up call, to let go of the past. Stop holding on to what that's already fading away. People that you don't own anymore, feelings that will never be the same again, hearts that are far beyond your reach. It's been years and it's time to move on now. It's time to rearrange people's placings in my life, time to care for those who matter more now, and lock the memories up in a less easily accessible spot.
I couldn't ask for better days. The past two days were mere happiness. Frankly speaking, the previous week was very difficult for me. Let's just say that the trials wasn't the best exam ever, and the results were plain depressing. But thank God the week ended with rainbows and unicorns. The movie yesterday had me thinking. Why let the past interfere with the future? Life has a way of fixing things. One can never always be on the down side. And even when you're on the down side, not everything is in black and white. There will still be colours. You just need to stop and look up.
I woke up to a phone call today, with my best friend screaming on the other end. And introduced me to some random Cantonese expression that had me laughing like mad. I half consciously completed a present-hunt my housemates set up for me, and they caught it all on video. I'm vulnerable to them now. Maybe I should flush their phones down the toilet one day.
Last night's pre-birthday was the best. Made the boys watch a love story (that involved time travel <-- not so plain cheesy) and they actually said it was not mad. Had American food and my first ever meat loaf. Had my first beer without being under surveillance. Such achievements. Told my mom I was gonna be out at night and she didn't enquire like a detective. She didn't ask where or with who. She didn't call to have me busted if I was in a club or something. Frankly, I'm quite touched.
I should really come up with a list of stuff to accomplish before I turn 20. Because right now I have all the time and energy and resources in the world. :)
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