My whole life was about never-ending changes of environment and adapting to them. I realized its time I create something more permanent in life. I don't really know how to do that, yet, but I'm trying. I'm tired of forever having to work hard to settle with new groups of people, changing myself to blend in. It's really frustrating, when you see everybody being so at home and you're the
only one struggling to be more like them.
And there are the people. I don't know why, but I can't seem to keep people in my life long enough. I don't have a person to point to and say, 'I've known him or her all my life and we're still close as ever.' People tend to leave, or in some case, I'm the one leaving. Or sometimes, things just fade silently without anyone noticing.
I think there's only one, single, person I can tell all my problems to without having to filter them. And I don't even see him often. I guess its easier to grunt and complain to him cuz he is not directly in contact with any other friends. Otherwise, I normally just categorize the problems and tell them to different, specific people. Thanks to my ever-changing social group.
They say, the more you adapt, the more you learn, and yes, I've seen all kinds of people. I've learnt to deal with them, and control my emotions so I won't go around slapping bitches I see, but sometimes I just want a place where I can call home...
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