great expectations?

Sometimes, I really wonder what I'm trying to do to myself.

I don't understand why I expect so much from the stuff I do or care about. What do I plan to do with all that perfections? Nothing. I just want everything to be shiny and pretty, it makes me feel accomplished. And when it doesn't turn out to be what I expected, I just feel so bad about myself, like I'm the most terrible, unaccomplished person in the world. Talk about self image. 

I just can't comprehend not getting the end product I want. I know I'm making my own life miserable by wanting so much, but I can't help it. My sense of satisfaction and self appreciation comes from achieving my aspirations. I'm perfectly aware of the fact that being perfect in a certain field doesn't make me a perfect person. Heck I don't even want to be perfect, but I just tend to seek flawlessness in certain things, and I don't even know why.

I wish leaves turn orange here too.