You know that it all takes my breath away

And now, I'm left with nothing...

(It's just lyrics. I don't feel mentally down or anything like that.)

It's Thursday, and school's out tomorrow. It's a public holiday, probably somebody's birthday or something, who cares. Orientation camp is tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to it, I think. Still don't like the fact that I'll lose 3 days of good sleep and random trips around town, and that I have this Physics test on Wednesday which I'm 100% unprepared for.

Everybody, and I mean everybody, has been asking the same thing over and over again, every single day, till I literally run out of words to say. I got bored of using the same sentences too often, so I just smile and say 'It's awesome' as an answer. Honestly, KL is treating me really well. I have my old friends here, and of course the new friends and my bro I just Skyped with last night. It's home here, really. The only thing I miss about Ipoh is my family. That's about all. I still have a long list of old old friends I want to meet up with, but hell they stay so far apart I don't really know how we're gonna see each other. 

I came home from school today, and well, I figured, making this place home for another 17 months, no problem. I kinda like my life right now. I know, the quality sucks, our food looks mehh... But BUT, it's dead delicious I feel like patting myself on the back every dinner time. And the way we fool around the kitchen and laugh and teasing like nobody's business as we eat is... Well... Home. These people, some I've only known for less than a month, they are practically like my siblings now. I missed life here when I went home last week. I really did. 

Then walking to school every morning, going through boring classes and joking around during breaks, these little things, they make life worth looking forward to. At this rate, I'll probably refuse to go home in June 2014. I'll go work and earn money and rent myself a little shoebox flat here and live here for good. 

I'm surprised by the way we adapt to each other. Living together isn't easy. But we're doing it now, and we learn, to embrace flaws and to laugh about mistakes, and to talk about feelings. At home, I don't really tell anyone anything. I'll just solve my own problems, locking everything away from everyone else. Being here, I actually have people to talk to, face to face, privately, not through the phone or Skype or in school, in public about stuff that is bothering me. And it feels good. Now I realized how lonely I was back then. 

So, I'm good here. And I hope you're happy too =)

If I could. then I would

First things first. We officially have wifi in our apartment. BUT (yes there's always a but), I just realised that it wasn't all streamyx's fault for my shitty connection at home... Yeah... I think there's something wrong about my computer. Somewhere... If I had money, I'd sue every company that makes computer with poor wifi connection. It's... Cruel, unethical to do such thing. Do you even know how heartbreaking it is? 

And there's mosquitoes here. On the 22nd floor. KL mosquitoes have super powers one I see. It's freaking 22 floors above ground what the heck!!

It's Tuesday night and it feels like Friday. And I don't know why. Ever felt really happy with no reason at all, laughing at everything like you're mad or something, yeah... Now, that's kinda me. I'm blaming it on the songs, and a test that's dead and gone .

Initially, I planned to type a long post, filled with feelings and confusion and well, the story of life, but oh well. I'm too happy to even attempt to be emo right now. Maybe tomorrow? And I still have like maths to do. Screw it seriously. Damn killjoy. 

I've been losing ideas about topics to talk about. I don't really know why. It's really frustrating cuz I'm sitting here staring at the page, trying to figure out something to fix this awkwardness...

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end :)

Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy

(Do you even know how hard it is to come out with different meaningful song lyrics for my post titles? No you don't.)

Hello peeps, it's Friday and I'm home! YES, HOME. I miss my family and the food and my bed and TV and all, but I kinda miss KL now hahahahahahha!!!!! I feel guilty for missing it when I'm here, but Ipoh is... Nahh... It's home, it's nice and peaceful, but I have like zero freedom here. I can't drive yet, that sucks, and there's no MRT station two minutes away from my house. And no friends living 500m radius away, no goofing around all night and laughing like mad people at random stuff that doesn't even make sense...

The truth is, I like life there. Maybe it's because it's new and fresh and all, but I really do like living there. Although I have to do my own laundry and deal with conflicts. I like the idea of being in charge of my own life. Wow I actually enjoy having responsibility. That's really strange. But oh well, I'm home and I love home. I love coming home to people who want to know how my day went, people who asks me if I'm hungry, people who lets me wash up as they make me my meal...

Goodness I'm so greedy.

My neighbours just bought the most adorable puppy I've ever seen. I'm not a little toy dog kind of person. I prefer big, proud guard dogs that scare most people away by just staring, but that puppy is so cute, the meanest person on earth will melt seeing her hop around the house.

I really really want a dog. Like REALLY. Since... I knew that it's possible to keep dogs as pets, I think. And i can never understand how my parents can be so against them. To me, having a child addicted to a living creature is so much better than having one staring at the TV all day. I love seeing kids being all protective around their pets. I'm super convinced that kids that grow up with pets will turn out to be better people than those who grew up with computer games characters. It's healthier for the soul. Cuz they learn to care.

Okay maybe I should like write a long thesis about it and send it to my mom and let her judge it.

Heading to driving lesson. Again.

2 hours of spinning around in a tiny, stuffy Kancil -.-

Always love the ones you are with

Unless they're bitches who care about nobody but themselves...

Yeah so... I'm by the pool again, and a lot has happened lately, so much that I don't know where to start. I just can't seem to understand why some people can treat their friends like shit, like nothing matters except for their own benefits. If you don't plan to cherish them, why keep those people in your life? If you their existence annoys you, why not just walk away, instead of making everyone else miserable? Some people, weird people, they like turning our lives into a living hellhole, like they have nothing else to do. And I find it really disturbing cuz if you don't like someone, just walk away. Ruining somebody's life, it doesn't make you more complete. At ALL. It makes you look terrible, like a wild bitch on the loose. People start leaving you, isolating you. Yeah sure, you'll still have your friends, but are you SURE that they're actually your friends?

It's just, sometimes it hurts a lot, knowing what people can do to you, when you're actually doing everything right. Maybe it's my problem, maybe I'm just paranoid, maybe it's not my problem, but it really sucks. You feel like talking about it but you have no idea what and how to say, afraid that it'll make things worse.

Enough of the emo shit now.

Gosh, if I were to sit here, and if every 'tomorrow' would be a holiday, I'll just give up studying and be a full time blogger. With the sound of water and some awesome new friends dancing beside me (LOL!). The things is, things may seem happy and cheery outside, but nobody knows what's really going on, what's happening inside.

You can be in a room FULL of people and feel like the loneliest person on earth.

That is SO SO SO true that I can't agree more. You can spend all your effort trying to make it right but something will pop up somehow and destroy everything, taking away all the joy... Life sucks. Sometimes...

I'll make sure to keep my distance

Hello world. The poolside internet is working again. Cheers!!!!! But it's super sunny outside and it's really glaring but oh wth. I have like 2 episodes of drama to catch up on, bio noted to make specially for the assignment tomorrow, a chapter of chemistry to master, a lot of graphs to draw, and physics questions to do, but I'm starting with the drama first. So smart right?

 

Honestly, college feels a lot like those high schools you see in American movies. Probably cuz my college uses classroom system, that's why. And I walk to and fro from school, that makes it really Japanese too hahahah!!! Plus the LRT and MRT, Taiwan. Okay I just love how college works =)

 

But seriously, I have so much to do, so much studies to catch up on, but everyday right after I've done my homework, I'm normally all wiped out. How to study??!!!

 

Every single day, the routine is just the same. And at some point during or after lunch, somebody will ask, "Today dinner how?", and everyone will stare at everyone and shake heads. It's a super super complicated question I tell you. Harder than PhD physics. Must be nice, near, cheap, and not too hot,  not too fat... Blah blah blah....

 

Ok I damn lazy to type d. Ciao!!! =)

And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now

Second week of college and boom it's over. How was it? Fun boring exciting tiring awesome new strange free tied down different monotonous... I can't really summarize it right now. It's a whole bunch of feelings mixed together. But it's gonna get better I can tell. ;)

I'm in Subang right now, sitting on the floor, a Saturday morning with my cousins. Something I've really missed - family. Friends are awesome, but family, they'll always be there. Miles and miles away, but you know you can call them anytime. And I love them for that. And good food. Gosh I've missed that. Like a lot. At least I feel balanced now. I think I should buy a pack of oats and lotsa eggs and make oat porridge everyday. It's the only way to keep my guts going. Apples don't really work on me. Strange.

Things are moving a little too fast these days. 24 hours past like lightning. The second week and all chapter ones are covered. 3 chapters for math. My engine is still cold and lazy, need some real motivation. But January is still young right?????! Lol it's the 12th already. So fast!!!!? The thing is, nobody is there nagging at me, making me to sit and stare at books the entire night. Not anymore. That's bad. Kinda. I guess. I really hope that I have the power to  make myself study really hard. I really really want to ace this thing.

Alright. Enough of this. I'm checking out the IELTS stuff. Omg it's so troublesome!!!!!

Twenty-Thirteen

Sup!!!

It's the fifth day of 2013 and Im lovin' it. I decided that there will be no resolution this year, no goals set from the very first page, cuz I realized, new year resolutions are always set to early, and when it comes to the middle or the end of the year, whatever that we've written down don't really matter anymore. And, some of those goals include things that can never be 100% done or fulfilled, like being happy and be rich and stuff, cuz you will never be happy or wealthy enough to put a tick behind those goals. Never.

This year should be limit-less, like the sky :)

College started last Wednesday, and so far so awesome.

Being away from home is... Fun and exciting and challenging and it feels great. I feel bad for not missing home that much, but I guess I have to be honest to myself. We're leaving again tomorrow, back to the beautiful city, and class will officially start. (It started on Friday but both my physics and chemistry periods were used for introductions and boring stuff like that...)

But I could really use some good night sleep tonight cuz the Hindu temple beside our apartment has a freaking bell that rings Idk how many times a day and it drives me crazy every morning. Not good.