Can you get used to crying yourself to sleep? 

Because I think it's happening to me.

I've learnt to tackle my swollen eyes in the morning, or send smileys on Whatsapp as I'm panting from all the crying. Or just pretend to be asleep. 

Sometimes I wish that I'm not this good at keeping all my feelings bottled up. If only I'm less guarded, less introverted, more trusting, my life would consist of less midnight silent sobs, less loneliness and more worthy to be cared about. 

Because right now I can't even feel mediocre about myself.