not so baby anymore

Eyes puffy from crying, by baby brother crunched his UPSR result slip into a ball, left it on the table and quietly made his way upstairs, cooped himself in his room all day.

Along with read letters and opened envelops, my mom unknowingly threw the ball of  'rubbish' away. Only having to rummage through the trash to retrieve the evidence of my brother's completing primary school.

I suppose the way he reacted was perfectly normal. Just that he usually acts so nonchalanty when it comes to academic results. I never thought it would affect him that much. Heck I didn't even think that he was serious when he announced that he was hoping for straight A's. We all thought he was joking. 

'我不是看扁他', my mom explained over the phone. He is just different from my sister and I, and my mom has a whole new set of standards for him.

I wanted to call, and tell him that nobody remembers anything about UPSR. Even if we do, we don't care. But maybe it's important for him to feel the impact of the insufficiency in his efforts at least right now. To know that he has to work for what he desires and a wish upon a star won't work.

Seeing him acting so dramatically, I thought of the small things that little-me had fussed over, and all the tiny hiccups that current-me still make a big deal of. Looking back at the stress I put myself through, the tantrums that I threw, it all seem so stupid now.

'It's not worth it,' I was tempted to tell him, but I guess it's only human for us to live and react to that very moment. That's life after all, the present.

Sugar coated

Ten years ago, I was upset because I got caned for getting 50% for dictation. And then mom came back from work with a box with pink and orange rings on it. A bad day fixed with half a dozen of Dunkin' Donuts shared among the family after dinner. 

Ten years later, I am desperately trying to fix a day gone wrong, with pieces of dark chocolate and senseless YouTube videos, alone in my room.

I'm not sure if I miss the doughnuts more, 

or the eagerness on my mom's face, trying to cheer me up.

mindblown

HUMAN BEING - a man, woman, or child of the species Homo sapiens, distinguished from other animals by superior mental development, power of articulate speech, and upright stance.

hmmmm.....

'see that arrow? yeah go park on it.'

I stood there, confused, for a very long moment.

Hoping that the driver will come running back from the autopay machine, or something. Anything.

But nope.

I really wanted to give him/her the benefit of the doubt, but I couldn't find a good reason to convince myself.

Maybe the carpark was REALLY full when he/she came in.

Maybe he/she came from a country whereby the head of the arrow means 'park here'.

Maybe he/she didn't notice that it wasn't a lot.

Or maybe he/she was just that big of a moron.