more than just a peck on the lips

I've came to know (of course) that love isn't proved by you throwing yourself in front of a train to push someone away from the track, or promising that you'll think about each other every full moon. I mean, come on, so you're just going to think about somebody you love so deeply three nights in a month? I've grown to learn that you can't save a fading love with just a kiss in the pouring rain, or leaving a handwritten letter by their doorstep. You talk it out, instead of sealing their lips with yours. You do whatever it takes to see them, wrap your hand around their wrist so that they can't run away and slam the door in your face.

Nicholas Sparks tells stories in a way that he makes us (some of us, ie, Me) believe that great life-saving gestures, or romantic element of surprises are what that define love. It is obviously not true, but he made us believe that love is more easily obtained than it really is. He glorified it all, when it's really not entirely flowers and letters on scented papers. 

I was aware of this. And yet I read (and very much enjoyed) all his novels. They're good worlds to live in, once in awhile, to take myself away from reality. 

So when I heard that this genius of a story-teller got a divorce with his wife of 25 years, I was speechless. My first thought was "either everything he has written about just doesn't work, or that his wife is a really tough customer", but after giving deeper thoughts to it, I realised how naive I was, to even relate Noah or John or Landon to a real life marriage, or any relationship for that matter.

It's not about one big action that will instantly change everything. It's everything you so every single day, the efforts you put in, the part of you that you're willing to surrender just to make something work. A diamond ring means nothing, if you disappear into your own life after giving it to her. A new iPhone isn't going to make things better if you don't even call to say goodnight.

I'm not here to criticize on a failed marriage. I just want to express my realization, because most of the things published, or sold in the market, they are so brilliantly packaged that we don't even have a hint of doubt before we decide to just trust whatever we come across. Things in a screen, in printed words, on papers or books, they can never be fully trusted.