It is loss which teaches us about the worth of things.

One more set of Chemistry paper one till I hit my target for today, but oh well, I deserve a break. I really wonder how I can be so exhausted when all I did today was going for bio extra class, came home, studied, ate, gymed, ate, studied, had dinner, studied. Yeah this pretty much sums up my entire day. I mean, the only energy consuming part was gym, and it feels like I've ran a full 42km marathon. 

Janice thinks that we're getting old. Maybe it's true.

I want (and need) to go home. I need to rethink, regather my thoughts, and get to know myself again. Because right now, I really don't see any purpose of doing anything except to study. There are so many people I miss talking to and hanging out with. People that have this magical power of making all the troubles in the world disappear. In short, I'm just missing a lot of things right now. I miss being myself. I miss saying stupid stuff and not worrying that I'll be judged. I miss loving and being loved by people I care about.

I hate how reality took away the freedom of calling up people and demanding for impromptu meetings. I hate how everyone, including me, have other obligations now. And I thought leaving home means having all the freedom in the world.

I regret how I took everything for granted. I miss ranting to my girlfriends and laughing like bimbos in class. I miss having things to look forward to every day. I miss Skyping the best big brother in the world until 3am or falling asleep on the phone. I miss making recaps of my day to my little sister as we lay in the dark and stare at the ceiling.

As grateful as I am for the people I have with me now, nothing can replace the memories and the moments of 2012. It was the best year, ever, when everything was almost perfect.

Sometimes, I have a really strong urge to go back in time, and tell the old-self to cherish every moment she has, cuz she's not going to get any of that back ever again. Even if I give up on everything I have right now, memories will always be memories, no matter how badly they're missed.