If your heart is always searching, will you ever find a home?

It's practically still the middle of the week, but it already feels like a Friday. Frankly, I'm really not that far from the best day of the week. It had been a long long week, and it's only the third weekday. Got over with physics and chemistry test and I'm feeling as if I'm done with my entire AS Level. I hate having to handle stress. If you know me well enough, you'll just notice what tension has done to be just by looking at me for like a few minutes. My mom doesn't even have to be looking. One phone call, a few words, she'll be asking if I'm gonna have a test real soon. Genius.

I did nothing after coming back from college. Just watched all the episodes of dramas that I've missed out and exercise a little and eat. I don't like my diet. I thought I'm suppose to be feeling super healthy and energetic but I'm not. I see my dinner and I feel like crying sometimes. Mom tried cheering me up by telling me the weekend is in another 2 days, but what difference does it make? I'll still be stuck here with the same old lettuce or cabbage and apples (ok fine I love apples). Sometimes, I go on Instagram and I see pictures of TGI Fridays or IKEA meatballs and I feel like I'm living in hell.

I need to learn how to teleport.

Sorry if I'm a little cranky right now. I'm just a little sleep deprived. And last night's sleep wasn't a smooth one. Roommate's alarm rang at freaking 4am and she didn't bother to switch it off. And it sort of kept me half awake since then. I'm in the mood rant and complain but I'm not gonna torture you like that. Gosh I need to sleep...

On a brighter note, mom is coming down this Friday. Her reason being she wants to attend the parents-lecturer's conference but really, she just wants to shop. But I can't wait to see her. It's been like 3 weeks since I last went home. I miss home so much I can't even... Good thing there's only classes for the first 2 days of next week. Time to get pampered again :D

Ok maybe I should really make some plans for this weekend so that I won't go into depression. I feel like a nun in a nunnery with no car and no food and no entertainment. Sigh...

And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?

I've lost faith in humanity. Seriously. Some people have stunted growth, mentally. It's either they are that immature, or they are just merely retarded. I haven't been this furious over something that doesn't involve me for a long time, but I really just can't let this go.

I mean, grow up la you sick ass. From the moment I met you, till this very second, I can honestly say you've never grown. Your wisdom just went way beyond negative. You fail as a human being, I'm telling you that. When I learnt about what you did, I wasn't even surprised. Like I've been expecting it was you all along. That face, that tone, I've seen so many times that I don't even have to guess. I haven't been so disappointed in a person before my entire life. Congrats. You're the first on that very list.

I don't normally give so much crap over something that's not happening to me, but this is too much. I don't even know how I breathe the same air with you. You are seriously one huge ass pile of disgrace to the human race. 

Call me a bitch for bitching over this, but whatever. Just grow up and smell the coffee. Use your brain. The correct side of it, if you even have one, that is.

Just because everybody hates it, doesn't mean it's not good

-Gru

Hello world. Sorry for disappearing for the previous week. No, I wasn't busy or anything. Just didn't have the push to write. Believe it or not, I charged my laptop yesterday morning so I could blog at night but then I got lazy and decided to not blog. 

It's another brand new week, this time with a little something to look forward to. 

Okay I'll be honest, I really don't have anything to talk about. So give me some time so I can think of an apt topic. 

Hmm maybe I'll talk about my diet. WARNING lame content ahead. If you're not up for some lameness then move on to another site.

I've been trying this plan for 2 to 3 weeks, and I don't know if its really working cuz I don't have a weighing scale and even if I do I wouldn't dare to weigh myself. So my plan is, eat carbs (usually Yoplait yoghurt and cereal or bananas and maybe a slice of bread) in the morning, eat whatever I want for lunch, but not too much. Try to avoid snacks, but since its pretty much impossible, just control the amount to a fistfull. And cut all carbs after 5pm. So my dinner is normally vege and eggs and fruits. Okay maybe I don't 100% avoid carbs, I still sneak a spoon of pasta or a mouthful of rice or a biscuit, but I swear I'm gonna get there. 

Avoid fried food. But right now is Ramadan month and they're selling curry puffs by the road side. Gasp! I've sinned. But my point being, I've tried very hard to avoid the fried and ice cream. Cookies are allowed cuz when you're sad and depressed and you're not allowing yourself to indulge in a cookie or two, you'll just die. Avoid fast food, although I allow myself to go on 2 cheat days every week. Swim or cardio at least on alternate days.

And last but not least, trick my mind into thinking that I will somehow look like Miranda Kerr (her body la) at some point so I'll keep going. I don't care if she have a small frame and tiny bones. I'd like to believe that it's possible.

The thing is, if I could skip meals, I'd merge my lunch and dinner into a meal, but I can't. I'll just die of gastric problems. And there's no way I'm gonna skip breakfast because breakfast is something that makes me want to move on to another day. So what I'm trying to do is to cut down the portions. Not to the extend that I'm forever unsatisfied, but try to stop the moment I feel fullness.

So that's it. Time for college :)

Bee doh

Happy Friday! I'm sitting in the train now by the window watching palm trees passing by as raindrops started to draw patterns on the glass. Can't see the sunset this time round all thanks to the dense grey clouds at the horizon. Just wondering, don't the Malay sitting across the aisle need to rush home by 7 to end her fast? I mean if I were fasting I'll make sure I'm already sitting by the dinning table at 6.30. 

So I was super excited today because Justin promised to go for Despicable Me 2 after class. But then SOMEBODY went and smartly suggested some lame robot movie (I can't even remember the movie title wth!) instead. So smart right? And it wasn't even good sci fi. If it were a Transfirmers-standard kind of sci fi I'd be happy to watch, but this was just lame. Guys... They'd rather watch 4 huge robots getting their asses kicked by 2 massive, ugly, violent monsters than hundreds of cute Minions and not to mention adorable Agnus, where nobody dies and everything is happy and perfect in the end. 

The robot movie, which was supposed to be action-sci fi, ended with 2 people being all cheesy on some lifeboat. What logic man. The only thing attractive about the movie is that the main actor is really hot. That's all. So I basically spent 2 hours of my life hoping that he doesn't die.

I currently have 2 fresh Subway cookies in my bag and I'm fighting every urge in the veins to not eat them. I'm such a wonderful sister and my little sister still complains that I enjoy too much without her. Bt I don't really blame her, cuz when I was her age and my cousins started to drive and go live at places all over the planet, I was just like her. Every Chinese New Year gathering, when they share stories, I'll be hoping so hard to get to move out and get every drop of freedom I deserve. But now, I actually miss my mom forever asking when I will get home. When 2 days go by without getting her call, I'll feel uneasy, sometimes even unimportant, and I'll be the one who checks in on her. Like asking where she is and what she's been up to.

Okay I guess that's it for now. Gonna continue watching The Avengers. At least this has quality. -.- 

I can tell you there's no place we wouldn't go

I know, I know, what happened to blogging every week right?

I swear, I've written at least 2 posts and saved them as draft for the previous week, but when I read through again I just didn't feel like publishing them anymore.

It's another Friday night, in KL this time. Class ended at bloody 4.30pm today, thank god the lecturer helped us to change it. It'll just totally Destroy (with a capital D) my Fridays if this goes on till September. I mean, 4.30pm! Can you even believe it? Went to Sentral for a fast food lunch today, hoping to get my Minion toys, but NOH, they haven't arrived at Sental's McDonald's yet (WTH?!). We had 3.5 hours, so I ended up in CF from 12.30 to 2.30 and the only thing that kept me awake was this cute guy sitting 5 feet away from me. But he was basically busy dozing off the whole time lol. Can't remember when was the last time I actually stared at someone of the opposite gender for so long.

I passed my Chemistry (phewww...), but kinda unhappy for getting a C. Yeah... I can never be satisfied. Initially, after the paper, I thought that I'll be super glad if I passed, but when I got my result, I was mentally slapping myself for the 5 marks I lost. 5 marks and it's a B! Dammit.

Semester exam was a bitch. The only subjects I have high hopes for is biology and maths. I screwed up my Physics class test big time, and a 10-mark calculation for SE. So yeah. I kinda told my mom to prepare herself cause she might need to pay for the final semester. And funny... She didn't complain, just a simple 'What's done is done. Just focus on your October exams,' and I was like... Wow...

Dinner dragged till 9pm today. It's my cheat day, so I've been swallowing quite a lot of food today. Well, maybe not a lot, but the calories can probably keep me alive for 2 days. And I promised I'd clean all the dust from my table and shelf but ended up sitting on my bed with my laptop instead. Wanted to watch Running Man, but I suddenly had the push to go revive my Tumblr. Boy I forgot how addictive Tumblr is.

http://justfollowthefootprints.tumblr.com  <--- go check it out!

Oh, and dear readers, introducing, Shiloh the Beagle!!! :

When he's caught biting on a slipper and I yell at him and tell him he had been a bad dog, this is what he gives me. And normally I'll just give up on the discipline and scoop him up and carry him on my shoulder.

I know he looks kinda dirty and all, I think he just fell into the pond the morning these pictures were taken. And he's much stronger now. He doesn't tumble over so easily now, and he can sit like a proud king with his head held high.

Shiloh is so dominant that he tried to overrule my brother. Yeah he kinda bullies my brother who's 10 years old. He thinks he's the boss around the house. Attitude... Tsk tsk...

You're probably thinking that he's really photogenic and all, but no. I was using my DSLR with the lowest aperture and probably an ISO of 400, and this was outdoor in broad daylight. So yeah, in non camera language, he was moving very fast and I just kept pressing on the shuttle and I took like hundreds of pictures and I had to filter them all.

I'm so lazy to edit the pictures, because unlike the previous software, Windows 8 can't really link all Blogger and Pictures and my photo editing app together. And I'm just way to lazy.

There's more to come. Just wait for it. I'm gonna make you fall in love with Shiloh as fast as I did. But that's a bit impossible cuz that first moment I opened the cage, he jumped out on my feet and started sniffing and licking me, I just melted. He hasn't gotten all his vaccines yet so I'm not suppose to expose him to surfaces that might cause contact with other dogs, so I've been carrying him around like a baby and he loves it. I think I'm the only one in the family who's insane enough to carry 6kg around the neighbourhood, but maybe that's why he loves me so much (teehee). When he got scared at the vet, he just waddled towards me and burried his head between my arms. It was the best feeling ever.

Okay I can go on and on about Shiloh.

Till next time! :)