Maybe Santa really exists

But maybe he/she doesn't have to be wearing a red coat, or have long white beard. Maybe he/she doesn't have a reindeer entourage, or squeeze through the chimney to get to you. Maybe because he/she has always been next to you.

Before you close you eyes to wish for miracles to happen, or write a letter of a list of things you want to receive and send it to God-knows-where, maybe you should turn around to give whoever that's next to you in bed, or the driver/passenger seat and thank the universe for the best present you've ever received.

Why ask for items when you have a human with a beating heart and flowing veins holding your hands and making you laugh every single day?

Sometimes, I don't even think that I'm half of what you are to me and I wonder what's the motivation for you do go through so much trouble to grant something I asked for so casually and jokingly. Something I wouldn't even remember myself saying if it wasn't for you (ie. wanting a tree... or a reindeer).

Thank you for being both Santa and the gift. Thank you for being more than just a Christmas present because every single day with you is like a wish upon a star. Thank you for loving me though I'm practically a sloth that's too lazy to act and react on most days. Thank you for climbing hills and swimming oceans to make my heart flutter (lol arrhythmia) and laugh till I had to stop to catch my breath.

Merry Christmas, I hope you had a great time too.

How dare she

The thing about people that are so good at being alone is that they actually don't mind being alone.

Less expectations, less disappointment, less stress.

They're claimed to be stronger, tougher, up to challenge the world standing on their two feet. They look like no wind can shake them, no problems can break them. They break, oh boy they break, inside.

The scariest things, to them, aren't tasks to solve. They cringe the most, at their own thoughts. Late night thoughts, as they lie in bed thinking about all the things they failed to do, the specks of imperfection that are embossed on themselves. They're difficult to love, because they don't allow themselves to receive the privilege of being cared for. Why would anybody want to invest emotions into someone so flawed?

The difficulty to reciprocate any form of affection, to render yourself vulnerable, entrusting your soul to an individual you have no control over. You can love all someone will every breath that's left to take, but you can never tie them up and make sure that they stay forever. People leave. They leave when they get bored, or tired of your nonsense. They leave when things get rough, when the tide is too high to surf through. They leave, just because they want to. And then what happens next, when you lose a piece of your heart?


They're really not tougher than most people. It's just a shell they hide their fears and emotions in, to keep whatever weaknesses locked up and shield from the reality of the world. They struggle, to find beauty in themselves, though they mostly agree that they're surrounded by beautiful people, but they're not one of them. How can a person, lacking in all aspects, deserve to flaunt their tears of fear or sadness and demand to be embraced?

What was she thinking, when she wished for a pumpkin carriage?

Maybe when she gets rid of the frizziness of her hair, learn to put make-up on her face, understand the art of clothes-shopping, drop two dress sizes, play a piano piece by ear, achieve a GPA of 4, be able to entertain everyone in the room, bake French pastries, travel the world...

Maybe then she has the rights to wish.