play the men, not the game

this weekend reminded me the feeling of having adrenaline gushing through my veins. my heart pounding, sweat dripping, eyes focused, my legs moving by default.

part of a team. something i haven't been since high school. i almost forgot what it feels like, to be a vital piece, to thrive towards a common goal. its astonishing, how a sport so foreign, a field i have not stepped foot on, could feel so welcoming.

both game days were attacked by hazy and dust particles-filled air, the second with the sun more scorching than the first. the warm breezes like the tip of lit candles brushing against our skins, uv rays got my a few shades browner.

every game, we stood by the field, reading the opponents, screaming commands. every sub-in, i ran a speed i did not know i was capable of. the humidity, the heat, the tightness of my right lateral tibial band all masked by surges of adrenaline.

here i am, still recovering from dehydration, tanner than ever, ready to start my training for my virgin 42k. mind you, the closest preparation i have is a finisher's medal of a 21k that was cancelled due to poor air quality.

carry on

Yesterday, I woke up to a whole new semester. Three systems to cover, 4 months to wiggle through.

Today, I have one week left to finish my second system, and apparently I'm halfway through?

I cannot wrap my head around how August gave way to September, and how September silently merged into October. One moment ago it was the beginning of year two, and now I have one system and one week left to complete half of my second year in medicine.

*Cliche warning!*

Where did all the time go?

If there's one thing I have to talk about, on how med school changed me, it'll be the transformation of a typical totally Chinese-educated student, to one that is less obsessive about attendance and A's and knowing everything at the back of her head. Medicine taught me that I can never grasp all the knowledge in the world, and sometimes, it doesn't even matter. It's the learning and the 'ohhh' moments that make studying somewhat less dreadful. It's the ability to relate the tiny words in the textbooks to real life, and in my case, a human being that needs help.

My heart is already making its way to December. An entire month to be spent at home, with a well-equipped kitchen and a garden with water features to calm my soul.

october . november. december

20

Can't wait for the cities I'll visit

the sunsets I'll witness

the snowfalls I'll be amazed by

Here I am, close enough to the city

to see it's sparkles

but far enough for my mind to wander

Twenty

too old to slap someone without getting sued

too young to stay guarded