Youth

Being a teenager is one of the best things anyone can be.

Being a teenagers means that you have a huge future ahead. It means that you haven't been through enough to be accountable for bad decisions and judgements. You're young. You're an asset, you're a glow waiting to shine. You're too young, young enough to afford to make stupid mistakes, too young to be blamed for making them. You can screw up, because you have your entire life to make it right. You can drop everything, go to a whole new place, reset your life, because you haven't gone that far anyway. You can get your heart broken and have it mend by somebody else along the way, because you keep meeting new people, all kinds of people and someone you'll eventually find the most potential in maybe, 

Being a teenager means adrenaline. You have all the energy to train for a marathon, or a triathlon, or climb a mountain, or sail across the sea. Your muscles just keeps on repairing and growing each time you injure them. The aches last for nothing more than two days. Your back straightens gracefully after bending and squatting for an hour. You sleep at 3am and wake up at 7am and jump into a new day right away, everything can be fixed with a cold latte. You go to class in the morning, hang out in a mall in the afternoon, catch a movie, then watch football matches at mamak till 1am, then grab a late night McNuggets after, and go to class again the next morning. 

Being a teenager means recovery. For most teens, our problems are really not that problematic, though it seemed like the end of the world then. 8am lectures, failing a class test, being grounded for a week, a broken phone, pants getting tighter, that boy that didn't like you back... At least our problems didn't involve kids, or a bank account. When you're 13 and you think that your life sucks, chances are things are going to change in a week's time, or less. Nothing is ever permanent, no damage is strictly irreversible, unless you killed someone. Recovery is almost instant, destruction is practically minimal. You fall, and bounce back up within seconds, your wound heals in no time.

Being a teenager means taking risks. You really don't have that much to lose. The people who really matter can't really ditch you, because you're bonded by blood. You have the physical strength to lift however heavy you train yourself to, you have the technology and response fast enough to find your way out when you're lost. You don't have many valid excuses for the risks that you didn't take. Nobody really judges you, and your peers don't count, because they don't know better. You're always given the benefit of the doubt, so why not make full use of it?

Learn, before your mind slows down. Run, before your joints start to ache. Read, before your eyesight deteriorates. Love, before it's too late. Travel, before you're tied down by work. Find your passion, before you have to submit to reality. Hope, before you become a practical adult. Study, when your family still supports you. Explore, because the world is infinite. Write, just so you'll remember. Drink, so you can forget. 

One full day to the end of my teen. 

Can't wait to see how the future looks like.

Semester Three

Soon: 1.5/5.5 years

Things I'm thankful for:

1. Less 8am classes
2. Finally accepting the fact that pharmacology lectures are not worth going
3. Day-off's
4. Less microscopic images
5. Enough time to go out for lunch (LOL)


No, Just no. :
1. Anatomy
2. More anatomy
3. One thousand organs all packed in your abdomen
4. Abdominal (& rectal/asshole) examination
5. 5pm classes
6. HUGE words


Week 4 of semester 3, and I'm so not ready for the renal system. I feel like, I ended up giving up on like 30% of my notes. I've decided to give up on embryology, and now pharmacology, and probably microbiology later on. Might as well just study histology and pathology and let go of everything else. I've acknowledged the fact that there's no point studying my ass of at this moment. I'm not going to remember more than half of it by the time study break comes.

9 days, RM3000 and lessons learnt

1. Foreign and alone. I'd do it all again.

It's true that there are times when I felt a bit isolated, especially when I saw something really out of this world and realised that I have no one to point it out to (Snapchat doesn't count). I took numerous strolls in beautiful gardens, blooming with flowers, telling myself that I'll bring somebody special the next time I visit again. But I think a trip (or two) by myself is somewhat a healthy way to get myself together, and maybe learn about myself and get to know myself better. It's not that I didn't want to have anybody with me, or that I rather explore alone than with anybody else, because I know I'll enjoy myself as much, or even more, if I had the people I love with me. But I don't think I'll regret my decision of travelling alone, though I wasn't completely on my own, grateful for all the familiar company I had with me over in Melbourne. 

It's quite selfish for me to say this, but sometimes, it feels amazing to know that at least for that moment, the world you see belongs to you, and your next step does not involve any consideration of the best interests of anybody else. It's not everyday that you get to do whatever your heart desires, given the reality of the world. There will always be weighing against pros and cons, drawing out consequences, benefits and risks. At least for that small fraction of your life, it's entirely up to you. 

2. Noticing the minor details.

When you're travelling with others, chances are at some point you'll be too tired or too carried away to take note of what's going on, or how you even got to where you were. Travelling alone is like some survival mission, where every small detail counts. Though I'm not totally familiar with the tram lines, but at least I managed to make out the important routes, mostly by tracing the tram trails by foot. I walked the entire city. Brunswick East to CBD, Central to Fitzroy, the Museum all the way to QV...

I got lost every single day, from the moment I stepped out of the bus from the airport. I was lost. And I took an hour to find Mel, from Southern Cross to the City Hall on Swanston. I thought I was gonna stay lost forever, because the tram system was nothing like what I read online.

Being on my own kept my eyes open. And I think there's no better way to truly experience life there.

3. I actually really like flowers.

I think 30% of my pictures are snapshots of flower beds and flower stalls in the market or along the streets. 

My point is, you really discover a lot more about yourself. Things that you didn't even know. You find new passion, and (maybe) figure out what you want or care about in life. You realise what and who is important to you. You find yourself wishing that someone else was there with you, and you can't wait to tell them your stories. You learn more about your heart, and how you function, and what matters the most.

4. Time did not exist.

Don't like the museum? Leave halfway or skip it altogether! 

What you like to do may be pointless to others. I really like long walks through the parks, and I prefer walking instead of tramming. I know that if I was with my family, my brother would flip, because water hens and ducks and exotic flowers don't appeal to him at all.

I emptied out a number of days, and left them unplanned. Honestly, I did nothing productive, saw nothing very spectacular, or visited none of the mandatory tourist spots on those days. I just walked and walked, stopped when I saw something interesting, and kept on walking again. Maybe you might think that I'm wasting my precious time there, not seeing what I should be seeing, but I like it that way. I didn't go to Hosier Lane, or took any pictures at the Federation Square and Southbank. I didn't line up for Short Stop doughnuts, or spend an entire day in Philip Island, but honestly, I don't regret my do-nothing-days at all.

5. "Go pose in front of the ____ so I can take a picture for you!"

I didn't have to go through that a lot. I don't like "the monument and I" pictures.

The monument alone is enough.

6. Gelato for lunch.

No elaboration needed.