Early bird

Reasons to wake up just half an hour earlier:

- The sunrise : Technically the sun has already risen by 7 but at least I can still see some post-sunrise coloured clouds.

- To open the window : Honestly, I hate air-con rooms, because the air is just so dry and stale. The only reason I switch it on at night is so that I can still use my blanket and not get a heat stroke. I love the feeling of pushing the window planes outwards the first thing I wake up in the morning, and inhale before cars come and ruin the air for me.

- To make coffee, and drink it with whatever pace I want : If I don't wake up earlier I'll end up swallowing everything in 3 big gulps, or pouring it into a small container and drink it in class, which really doesn't feel as satisfying.

- Read something. I personally HATE reading the news because all it's telling me is what's wrong with the world I live in, and that's like the last thing I want to be reminded of in the morning or at nights or at any point of the day. I just don't get the concept of reading the news the first thing in the morning because it annoys me more than anything. The negativity is unbearable. Instead, I always find myself reading blogs or articles over my morning coffee. Passages that make me like the world a little more.

- I get to use my table lamp (LOL) : I don't use my table lamp when I study. Natural light is enough in the late morning or afternoon. I use the ceiling fluorescent tube when it turns dark. There's no in between for me to utilise my yellow lamp. Hence morning, when it's not pitch black nor is it day-bright. 

- Rinse : Ok I'm gonna come clean. I don't have the habit of showering (or even rinsing) in the morning before I head out to start my day. I usually just jump up as my alarm sets off, brush my teeth, wash my face, gulp down whatever liquid I feel like drinking, change, and I'm out. So at least if I'm up earlier I can take a cold (or warm) rinse, depending on my mood, and smell like my baby bath lol....

- Stretch : Yes I do warm-up stretches in the morning. I don't even know why but it feels good so why not?

- BREAKFAST : For the past semester, I've forced myself to be okay with not having breakfast before my first class. It was miserable. And all there is that's affordable (not a rip-off) on campus are very pathetic sandwiches or pastries. Wait they are still rip-offs considering the quality. So waking up early means having time to heat up my homemade muffins or toast my homemade breads. Or microwaving my oatmeal. Or scooping yoghurt into a bowl of cereal.

Okay time's up. 8am clinical skills God bless me.

5 of 12

Today marks the final week of May. Flowers blooming in the north, people counting down days when they can finally be on their way home and have roti canai that doesn't cost pounds. Snow was falling in New Zealand last night, and the rest of the south hemisphere prepping for shorter days and longer nights. 

And I can't wait.

I can't wait for people to come back, after 3 full seasons, with stories (and snacks from parts of the world). I can't wait to fulfill all the promises made through Skype calls and random Whatsapp chats. I can't wait to board on my flight to Melbourne, and explore a city that's more Malaysian than any other city you can find, but yet so Australian at the same time. I can't wait to feel the excitement of waking up in an unfamiliar room, the floor tiles too cold to be stepped on with my entire sole, and having cheap, good bread with Chobani yoghurt that for once, isn't overpriced. 

Despite looking forward to August, I've been going through quite a lot of discovery lately. Things I've always overlooked, or maybe too timid to try, sides of myself that was never explored. And I guess I'm just amazed of the thrill fresh experiences and discoveries can bring me. At least I've got a glimpse of what 'just do it' really means, the art of going with your heart and desires without giving much thought (or obsession) over what other people might think, or what they might say about me. I've come to realise that giving someone the power to affect your performance or your entire personality isn't trust, or love or anything great. It's quite dumb, because nobody is obligated to stand by you through it all. 

If to love is to be vulnerable, then what's so great about it? Getting hurt and screwed over because of one's persistence isn't glorious. It's like touching a fence that has a sign written 'caution' with a skull below it and getting electrocuted after that. You'll  only be criticised for your stupidity, not glorified for your bravery. 

Complete

I had the best day. 

I woke up at 9.15am, with the morning sun shining bright outside, with my only lecture of the day at 1.30pm.

I got up, gave myself a good stretch, washed up, and threw on a knitted top, one that makes me feel like it's autumn. 

I skipped breakfast, grabbed a hot mocha, and went straight to the library to catch up on lectures from the previous day. 

Lunch was chilli pan mee with my best company.

5.30pm, it was too sunny to run outside, but I went anyways. Rounds around the lake, and I leap up the stairs, panting so hard and giving up halfway, walking the remainding steps up.

I was greeted by the most amazing view, ever. A Malaysian flag waving along with the wind, a peak overlooking the entire stadium, cars racing through the MEX highway, and countless of apartments surrounding the university. 

It caught me breathless (literally), I didn't want to leave. I wanted, so badly, to wait for another half an hour, to watch the sunset, and I would've done it if I weren't alone, or if the security here was better. 

I dragged myself down from the hill at 6.40pm, and exited the park, towards home and an evening sun that looked a lot like an egg yolk. My heart felt full.

'Unconditionally' does not exist.

Human-to-human relationships are too fragile to be stretched across boundaries, responsibilities and expectations. 

People will always be selfish (even the kindest souls).

We will always be seeking for more.